No, I don't have it all together and I probably never will on this earth, but with God's help I can power through whatever life throws my way. Especially because there are two things I am sure of
1)God will never send me a trial that with His help I can't have victory
2) He promised to never leave me or forsake me. He is always here ready to enable me.
I have also experienced the power of God in my life. The many times that I have called and pleaded for his help he has come through in some amazing ways.
I'm going to be a bit vulnerable in this post so please bear with me. Growing up I had many insecurities and as a protection for myself I had built many many walls, in an effort to protect myself and to control the circumstances around me. Because as long as I didn't allow people to get close and care about me they could never hurt me. And that even included God, because he was Authority and he required respect that I did not feel he was worthy of.
It wasn't until by the grace of God that I realized that God has a plan and a purpose for each one of our lives and that he placed me in the situations that he did for a reason. And that is simply to bring him honor and Glory through my life, I had to choose to follow him no matter the path that he chose to take me down. Because ultimately he has my best in mind.
It was not until I realized that is because he loves me that he wants to refine me and make me a better person to serve him. Because it is through those trials and hard times that we realize who we really are in our carnal selves . And that we are not truly complete without Jesus in our lives. He knew the path that I had to go down in order to bring me to him and Draw Me Closer to his side because without some of those trials that I went through I don't know where I would be today.
Zechariah 13:9 KJV
And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The Lord is my God.
Yes, I can now honestly say that I am so grateful for all the things that I have experienced on this Earth. There have been times of heavy trials , many tears, and heartache. But you know one thing that has been a steady constant even when I chose not to serve him, is my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. He has been there every step of the way. Showing me a little ways that he loves me and that he would always take care of me no matter what. And all that time is drawing me a little closer to himself.
When I totally surrendered my life to him that is when he started to break down those walls. And teach me to love as he loves. Yes, we will get hurt in this life people will take advantage of our kindness , generosity, and love. But God calls us to love them anyways just as his son loved us enough to die on the cross so that we could have an abundant life in him. No, loving isn't always easy sometimes we feel that the person absolutely does not deserve it. And no, sometimes they don't deserve it neither do we deserve what Jesus did for us on the cross.
Romans 5:8 tells us
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
It doesn't say that while we were perfect he died for us. It says when we were yet sinners ,when we were at our weakest moment needing him the most. It was when I was the most unlovable that he gave his life so that I could live a full life in him.
As it took time and years to build those walls, it also takes time and years to break them down. It is a work in progress but I am grateful to say that it is so encouraging to look back and see that I am not the same woman I was 2 years ago. Not On My Own Strength but it is because of the grace of God that I am who I am.
1 Corinthians 15:10 KJV
But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.
Please understand that I am definitely not completely there ,to the place that I am able to love with abandon, or even to completely surrender every area of my life all the time. But God is working in my life and I'm a work in progress. I just wanted to share a bit of my story that maybe someone can glean a bit of Hope for their own story.
May God Bless you as you make the journey of life through His grace and strength. Because it is only through Him we can be truly whole. Until Next Time ~ Rose Mary
Warning: this may be a 2 part post.